Engagement means Endless phone calls...

Engagement means Endless phone calls...

Disclaimer: All characters, incidents, descriptions and anything else that you could imagine, depicted in this article are imaginery. Any resemblance to anyone living & currently undergoing an engagement-period (like notice-period :-)..) is not intentional, but purely coincidental...

(Appada, Maniratnam padam maathiri oru Disci-ya pottachu... Ini enna venna eluthlaam...).

A couple of

Engagements and m

arriage fixe

s happened in our family and in my friends circle recently, which is the main motivation for writing this article. I will try to highlight all that happen

during the engagement period and where ever possible I will give hints which would help yo

u to identify between different types of couples.

Couples can be broadly classified into 3 types - Approved couples, Un-Approved couples and Yet-to-be-Approved couples. If the parents see a guy or a girl for thier kid and once their kids say “ok”, at times after a bit of persuasion, the engagement starts. In this case, the couple is an Approved cou

ple as these type of couples have f

ull Approval from their parents and the engagement period

starts from the moment they mutually say “ok”. The interesting thing here is that it takes less time for a Girl to decide on the Guy for them, than the time they take for buying a saree

or

a jewel for them. Same should be the case for the Guy too, I guess. If a guy falls in love in a girl and the girl never approves (or) accepts his love(whic

h is normally the case...) (or) if a girl falls in love with a guy and if the guy never approves (or) accepts her love(a rare case :-)...), then they fall under the catagory of Un-Approved couples. This type of couples never have an engagement period. If a Guy and a Girl fall in lo

ve with each other, and the other party also accepts the love, but still their parents are yet to approve t

heir love and get them married, then these couples can be bro

ught under the catagory - Yet-to-be-Approved couples. In this case, the engagement starts right after one person proposes and the other person accepts.

Irrespective of whatever be the type of

couple, a lot of interesting stuff happens around the persons getting engaged and it is a good

entertainment for the people around them, until marriage.

The first thing is phone call

s. In the case of approved couples,

things are quite easy. The parents get the number of the Guy or the Girl, pass it on to their ward and ask them to call and talk

to the other person... How nice it is.... But take the case of the Yet-to-be-approved

couples. The Guy (most of the time...) does all the tricks that exists in this world and somehow gets the girl’s number and starts first with missed calls, then with blank calls, and finally with all courage starts speaking... only to

receive scoldings from the other end... :-(...

As there is no problem for the Approved couples to give or receive phone calls, they keep getting calls day and night, in and out. At times the immatured and yet-to-grow-up people like me wonder like about what they will be talking all day and night, and at one point what will they do when they exhaust discussion

on all the topics in this galaxy?!?!??? And what will be left out to talk after marriage?!?!???

I have an idea for the mobile network providers. They can come with a plan like engagement-period pack. In this plan, a person who got engaged can add the number of the person to whom he got engaged. In order to avail this plan, the person should produce an affidavit or atlea

st a letter signed by parents on both sides stating that they are indeed engaging their kid to the other person.

Otherwise, there are chances that this plan will be misused heavily. In this plan, call charges are free between both the numbers from 10:00 PM to 3:00 or 4:00 AM, and then charges are 10 times the normal charge until 10:00 AM (in an attempt to give rest to those poor mobile phones and also to bring down their network traffic), then again normal charges from until 10:00 PM.

Again, here we get a chance to differentiate between approved and yet-to-be-approved couples. When the girl or the guy gets the call, and if their parents quietly move from that place in order to enable them to talk peacefully, then they are Approved couples. On hearing the ring tone, if the parents rush and come near the girl or the guy to observe what they are talking and (or) or to find out to whom they are talking to, then they are yet-to-be-approved couples.

Invariably, as I confirmed through my friend and other friends, most of the girls after sometime, find the conversation from the other end to be monotonous and boring. They use several techniques to avoid such boring talks, after sometime. The most common being “hello... hello...

signal illa... appurama call pannuga...” (no signal... call me later...). This also gives an insight into the fact that almost all

the calls originate from the Guy. In the case of yet-to-be-approved couples, the girl says “amma nearby, call me later...”, or “mama nearby, call me later”, etc.

Going around the city (or) Roaming is an inevitable activitiy for the couples during the engagement period. When the parents bring their ward safely, make all facilities, fix the place and duration of roaming, then one can easily guess that they are approved couples. In some cases, the approved couples even go to the extreme of having feast in their relatives home, during the engagement period itself. Yet-to-be-approved couples do not have this privilage as they always have the fear of being seen by anyone in the known circle.

Giving gifts is

another inevita

ble activi

ty during the engagement period. Needless to say, in this case also the gifts originates from the Guy. Don't imagine too much about the gifts. Items like

baloon, panchu mittai (cotton toffee, if my translation is right...:-)...),

and dolls which normally would delight a 2 or 3 year old toddler would be

given or exchanged as gifts. Only to the immature and yet-to-grow-up people like me the question would arise “Why stuff that would normally delight a 2 or 3 year olds are given as gifts...”. Again here we get an opportunity to find out what type of couples they are. If the gifts are neatly packed and sent through parents or through to-be-parents-in-law and handed over the girl, then they are approved couples. If the gifts are just dropped a

t the door of the girl, even without the details of who dropped it, th

ey are unapproved or yet-to-be-approved couples.

Another thing is the visit to in-laws home. If the Guy visits the to-be-in-laws home, or to any of the in-laws relatives home and if the Guy receives a Royal tre

atment, then they are approved couples. If the Guy just stares at the in-laws home from some distance and never gets a chance to enter the home, then they are yet-to-be-approved couples.

These days, its not uncommon so see

the girl also visiting the in-laws home (or) extended in-laws home during the engagement period itself, most of the time

for reasons like their extended in-laws wants to see the girl.... Let me try to guess what will happen during such a visit... The girl will sit somewhere like the center of the house and the in-laws will com

e one-by-one, either in a queue (or) by some other means a

nd see the girl.... Or.... may be like they will be seated in front of a dias and the girl com

es and walks here and there on the dias, like the parade that happens in a fashion show.... Or... may be in a traditional way the girl will have a big tray with tumblers filled with coffee and she will be serving to in-laws and there-by they also get a chance to see her... But this normally happens in the

girl's home during the 'pon paarkum padalam'(girl seeing function)... Ok... Ok... let me stop my imagination here...

Lot more things to write... If possbile will continue in a sequel to this...

Whatever it is.. the couple in their engagement period are a good source of entertainment to everyone around them...

Disci 1: All characters, incidents, descriptions and anything else that you could imagine, depicted in this article are imaginery. Any resemblance to anyone living & currently undergoing an engagement-period (like notice-period :-)..) is not intentional, but purely coincidental...

Disci 2: Incidents related to un-approved or yet-to-be-approved couples are not based on my personal experience.

Disci 3: This article is purely fictional and not based on real incidents. Any claim that it is based on anyone's personal story or incidents will be summarily rejected.

Disci 4: If this article hurts the feelings (or) sentis, (or) anything else of anyone, it really has to be attributed to my poor writing and depicting skills, in which case, I personally accept my fault and offer my apologies...

- JAVA Pavala.

Happy Birthday...

Happy Birthday Pavala...

Hard, constant, continuous, unceasing work never goes unrewarded...

The best revenge is living best...

Its time to Awake, arise and stop not until your goals are reached...

Never stop...

All the best...

- Pavala.

When things are fully out of your control...

When things are fully out of your control, the best thing to do is to make a quite quit, allow things to take its course and then take decide what you need to do.

- JAVA Pavala.

J...to the...A...to the...V...to the...A ..... JAVA...

Conversation Starters...

Conversation Starter - I first came across this word in 2008, while attending a session on cross-cultural adaptability. That year I was making all arrangements to travel to US for work-related reasons and in our company it is mandatory that we need to attend that course before travelling to US for the first time. The instructor explained the importance of having a conversation starter, how it can be used to start a conversation with anyone and especially with the clients. Had I mastered this art during my college days, I would have got a lot of friends, especially girl friends ;-).

Though I learnt it theoritically I had difficulty in using it in practice. As a typical south Indian, I had a lot of difficulty in opening a conversation with strangers and sometimes even among known people. When I reached US, I found that people are very good in starting a conversation with anyone using conversation starters. The most common one is “How are you doing?” (or) “
How are you doing these days?” (or) “How are you doing today?”. It is normally a statement used just to start a conversation and it is never to be mistaken that they are really worried about how we are doing.

Initially I didnt know the answer for that starter and I just used to throw a blank smile to the opener. The theoritical training didnt help me much during the initial days. If this question was asked to me over phone, I just used to ignore it and just jump into the actual conversation.

Soon I learnt from my friend Sing and got to know that the answer for this question is “Doing good, Thank you and how are you doing?”. They will normally give the reply “Doing good, Thank you”. For which we can reply “Good to know that.” We can stop the conversation starter here and jump into the actual conversation, as by now the conversation would have started. Another good conversation starter if you are out of India and while talking to a US person is “How is the weather there?”.

This conversation starter applies only to actual US people and certainly not to the Indians who live there. Like here, Indians there just stare at us (or) ignore our presence. At times people who have lived there for a sufficient period of time, use the conversation manners of US by opening a conversation with a conversation starter, may be in an attempt to be a more US-ian. I mean they don’t do it to Indians, but like us they follow it with Americans.

After sometime I became well-versed with the starters and I was able to open up a conversation with anyone. After returning back to India, for a brief time I suffered from US-return-syndrome and I was throwing the question to anyone whom I met - be in home, office or on the road. I remember a begger staring at me when I asked him “How are you doing these days?”. Soon I understood that I was making a fool of myself and took conscious efforts and recovered from US-return-syndrome.

After my return from US, I joined a new project at off-shore. This project was so hectic that we used to work round the clock on more or less on all the days, including week-ends. But the manager was kind enough to provide us with project sponsored dinner and project sponsored lunch on week-ends. On one such occasion, while having lunch with my team-mates in canteen, a girl, basically from Andhra was sitting next to me. I didn’t mind to turn towards her or talk to her. Had it been US (or) had I been suffering from US-return-syndrome, I would have thrown a conversation starter at her by now.
Suddenly, while picking my lunch plate, she saw me and said “Hi...”
“Hi...”, I replied.
I knew that the next question would be the conversation starter and was waiting for it...
She asked “Is your wife married???”.

I was confused and didn’t know what answer to give for this conversation starter... But could understand that somehow she knew that I am a married person...

I managed and answerd "Yes... She is also married...”

People around us burst into laughter... She realized her mistake and she also joined them...

But still I have to agree that, it was a good conversation starter...

- spgr.

Family Problems...

The number, amount and impact of problems in a family is exponentially proportional to the number of children a couple have. Thank God, from very large families, though Government's initiatives on family control measures, now we have nuclear families. But even now we have so much problems. Cant imagine how it would have been, a few decades back...

- s p g r.