Thursday, August 04, 2011

First close all those NCs

All assembled in front of Lord Yama in his durbar for the morning roll call. This was an arrangement made by Yama so that he can keep track of his subjects in his kingdom and identify those who might have escaped to earth(which is worst than this place for some) or to heaven and take the needed steps to bring them back.

"Today we have a visitor" announced Yama to his wards after the roll call.
The crowd started thinking whom it might be.
Yama himself gave it out after a short pause "Lord Hanumaan is visiting us..."
"This is just a courtesy visit..." he added.

Yama's assistants with the help of his wards started making arrangements to welcome Hanumaan.
A prayer session was arranged by Yama himself, wherein everyone will assemble in front of Hanumaan and sing songs praising Hanumaan and chant some slogans in an attempt to please him.(Author's comment - But I dont understand that what is the point in pleasing Hanumaan once you are in hell. May be people in hell can answer).

Hanumaan was punctual and he came flying and arrived at the right time. Yama gave an elaborate welcome and so did his subjects, except one Guy who was standing in one corner of the durbar and watching all these happenings.

Then people started singing and chanting, and Hanumaan was also pleased and seemed to enjoy the situation. He also didn't fail to notice that Guy who didnt participate in anything, but was constantly looking at Hanumaan and his activities. Yama too noticed the Guy and the Guy's activity seemed to irritate him.

After all the prayer was over, Yama called that Guy and asked "Why you didnt participate in any of the prayers... Don't you think that you are insulting our guest..."

"I have a reason for that..." said the Guy.

Hanumaan interruped "Sorry for interrupting... Can you please introduce yourself..." he asked the Guy.

The Guy told his name and continued "Before coming here, I working in the IT industry... earlier as a budding programmer, learning and coding on all latest Java & J2EE technologies... At one point the company thought that I was paid more than what I deliver to them and so they insisted on doing some extra work and sent me for some trainings..."

After a pause he went on "I attended a couple of sessions which they call the Auditor's training..."
Yama, Hanumaan and the people assembled seemed to have got interested in this and the Guy and continued "That was nothing but finding fault in other's work, however good they do it... which we call as Non-Confirmation... NC in short..."
"All that I learnt was that people do mistakes when they work, and its an auditor's job to find that out, report to the top management, and put them in trouble..."

Thus he concluded.

Yama asked "Now tell me, why you didn't give the due respect to our guest, Lord Hanumaan."
From the expressions on Hanumaan's face, one couldn't guess whether he was sad or angry about the Guy's activity.

"I have three observations about Hanumaan. In fact they are NCs... " said the Guy.

"What are they?" Yama asked. Hanumaan was puzzled and gave a suspicious look at the Guy.
The Guy continued, "First, when Lakshman was sick, Hanumaan was sent by Ram to bring the medicinal herbs to cure Lakshman... but what this Hanumaan did... Instead of bringing the medicinal herbs alone, he brought the whole Sanjeevi mountain... This is NC No.1"
"Ok... what else...", this time Hanumaan himself asked.
"Mr.Hanumaan, you brought the Sanjeevi mountain right... Did you replace it back in the same place...? This is NC No. 2"
Hanumaan nodded his head in agreement.
"anything else..." asked Hanumaan.
"Yes... one more... You say that Ram is your Lord and you are his disiple... But he walks with his wife and brother... but you fly to wherever you want to go... This is not agreeable and I would like to raise this as NC No. 3." The Guy concluded.
"I will not pray to Hanumaan until he closes all these NCs..." the Guy declared.
Yama, the crowd and Hanumaan too seemed to agree with the Guy.

Hanumaan had no idea of closing those NCs and started thinking whether there is any way by which he can audit this Guy so that he can come up with more NCs that what the Guy found on him. It seems auditees are alike everywhere...

Note: I became internal auditor in our company recently :)

- Pavala