Conversation Starter - I first came across this word in 2008, while attending a session on cross-cultural adaptability. That year I was making all arrangements to travel to US for work-related reasons and in our company it is mandatory that we need to attend that course before travelling to US for the first time. The instructor explained the importance of having a conversation starter, how it can be used to start a conversation with anyone and especially with the clients. Had I mastered this art during my college days, I would have got a lot of friends, especially girl friends ;-).
Though I learnt it theoritically I had difficulty in using it in practice. As a typical south Indian, I had a lot of difficulty in opening a conversation with strangers and sometimes even among known people. When I reached US, I found that people are very good in starting a conversation with anyone using conversation starters. The most common one is “How are you doing?” (or) “
How are you doing these days?” (or) “How are you doing today?”. It is normally a statement used just to start a conversation and it is never to be mistaken that they are really worried about how we are doing.
Initially I didnt know the answer for that starter and I just used to throw a blank smile to the opener. The theoritical training didnt help me much during the initial days. If this question was asked to me over phone, I just used to ignore it and just jump into the actual conversation.
Soon I learnt from my friend Sing and got to know that the answer for this question is “Doing good, Thank you and how are you doing?”. They will normally give the reply “Doing good, Thank you”. For which we can reply “Good to know that.” We can stop the conversation starter here and jump into the actual conversation, as by now the conversation would have started. Another good conversation starter if you are out of India and while talking to a US person is “How is the weather there?”.
This conversation starter applies only to actual US people and certainly not to the Indians who live there. Like here, Indians there just stare at us (or) ignore our presence. At times people who have lived there for a sufficient period of time, use the conversation manners of US by opening a conversation with a conversation starter, may be in an attempt to be a more US-ian. I mean they don’t do it to Indians, but like us they follow it with Americans.
After sometime I became well-versed with the starters and I was able to open up a conversation with anyone. After returning back to India, for a brief time I suffered from US-return-syndrome and I was throwing the question to anyone whom I met - be in home, office or on the road. I remember a begger staring at me when I asked him “How are you doing these days?”. Soon I understood that I was making a fool of myself and took conscious efforts and recovered from US-return-syndrome.
After my return from US, I joined a new project at off-shore. This project was so hectic that we used to work round the clock on more or less on all the days, including week-ends. But the manager was kind enough to provide us with project sponsored dinner and project sponsored lunch on week-ends. On one such occasion, while having lunch with my team-mates in canteen, a girl, basically from Andhra was sitting next to me. I didn’t mind to turn towards her or talk to her. Had it been US (or) had I been suffering from US-return-syndrome, I would have thrown a conversation starter at her by now.
Suddenly, while picking my lunch plate, she saw me and said “Hi...”
“Hi...”, I replied.
I knew that the next question would be the conversation starter and was waiting for it...
She asked “Is your wife married???”.
Though I learnt it theoritically I had difficulty in using it in practice. As a typical south Indian, I had a lot of difficulty in opening a conversation with strangers and sometimes even among known people. When I reached US, I found that people are very good in starting a conversation with anyone using conversation starters. The most common one is “How are you doing?” (or) “
How are you doing these days?” (or) “How are you doing today?”. It is normally a statement used just to start a conversation and it is never to be mistaken that they are really worried about how we are doing.
Initially I didnt know the answer for that starter and I just used to throw a blank smile to the opener. The theoritical training didnt help me much during the initial days. If this question was asked to me over phone, I just used to ignore it and just jump into the actual conversation.
Soon I learnt from my friend Sing and got to know that the answer for this question is “Doing good, Thank you and how are you doing?”. They will normally give the reply “Doing good, Thank you”. For which we can reply “Good to know that.” We can stop the conversation starter here and jump into the actual conversation, as by now the conversation would have started. Another good conversation starter if you are out of India and while talking to a US person is “How is the weather there?”.
This conversation starter applies only to actual US people and certainly not to the Indians who live there. Like here, Indians there just stare at us (or) ignore our presence. At times people who have lived there for a sufficient period of time, use the conversation manners of US by opening a conversation with a conversation starter, may be in an attempt to be a more US-ian. I mean they don’t do it to Indians, but like us they follow it with Americans.
After sometime I became well-versed with the starters and I was able to open up a conversation with anyone. After returning back to India, for a brief time I suffered from US-return-syndrome and I was throwing the question to anyone whom I met - be in home, office or on the road. I remember a begger staring at me when I asked him “How are you doing these days?”. Soon I understood that I was making a fool of myself and took conscious efforts and recovered from US-return-syndrome.
After my return from US, I joined a new project at off-shore. This project was so hectic that we used to work round the clock on more or less on all the days, including week-ends. But the manager was kind enough to provide us with project sponsored dinner and project sponsored lunch on week-ends. On one such occasion, while having lunch with my team-mates in canteen, a girl, basically from Andhra was sitting next to me. I didn’t mind to turn towards her or talk to her. Had it been US (or) had I been suffering from US-return-syndrome, I would have thrown a conversation starter at her by now.
Suddenly, while picking my lunch plate, she saw me and said “Hi...”
“Hi...”, I replied.
I knew that the next question would be the conversation starter and was waiting for it...
She asked “Is your wife married???”.
I was confused and didn’t know what answer to give for this conversation starter... But could understand that somehow she knew that I am a married person...
I managed and answerd "Yes... She is also married...”
People around us burst into laughter... She realized her mistake and she also joined them...
But still I have to agree that, it was a good conversation starter...
- spgr.
- spgr.
